I had a dream..
Not just any dream ; it was my ambition, goal, career, my ultimatum, my life. After I had that dream, it was the only thing that gave me a reason to live..
My dream to be a doctor........
For me, it is the most pure, the most noble deed that a man can do with his life. Being a doctor, saving people, giving them the joy of life is the most dignified task one can do. A doctor is said to have hands of God. When other hopes let you down, a doctor gives a new rising hope, a different sense of security. It is like performing social work in the purest form.
For me, a doctor's respect is more important than the money he earns. I had this goal in mind..to work in a village hospital without wages, devoting my life for the welfare of those in distress.That is because I care for the world around me, about the people around me.
For me that was my ultimate future in my eyes.But hopes crash..... and as my world came crashing down, I felt nothing could ever make my life worthwhile again. I did not wish to work, study or even live.. I had set some standards for myself, and i failed myself..
I had everything that was required. But destiny had something else in mind. In my final important years, I got badly distracted by factors ; the craving to enjoy, and waste my time in stupid things..... I'm even ashamed to mention them now. I feel that I'm such a loser who couldn't focus on one thing I actually craved for my entire life. Others will never understand what I've lost. Its not only my dream, it was my soul that I lost it out there when I failed in that last test.
I cannot repent or regret anything, because it has already happened. I acted foolishly and it cost my soul,
I've been taught to be content with whatever I get. My self confidence has staggered a little, and I doubt the faith in me. All these thoughts aren't worth sharing for one reason- Nobody will completely understand what I mean to say.
I have to move on, but the scar of my failure will stay behind in my life. The boiling depression in me will stay hidden inside. I won't be given a chance to cry out loud till my voice goes sore or to mention my failure to others.
Yet I stand up again, this time to fulfill the hopes of other people, the faith they have in me, And now I won't face failure again as I have left it behind. I will make it worthwhile, I promise to make everyone proud of me, and hold up to their conviction.
My heart skipped a beat when the world gave me a second chance. I will make the most of it now. I get a chance to be a Physiotherapist in my future, which is not quite as bad. I am still struggling with the inner 'ME' to regain the confidence when my mind says -
" You've nothing left to lose now. So go, face the world as there is nothing that can go wrong."
I just hope I get what I deserve, I will certainly strive hard to achieve success... As there is a new hope rising inside me.. I hope I won't fail me, the second time.. So here I go anticipating what the world has in store for me- Certainly not any more crashing hopes... I guess!!!
23 June '12
Not just any dream ; it was my ambition, goal, career, my ultimatum, my life. After I had that dream, it was the only thing that gave me a reason to live..
My dream to be a doctor........
For me, it is the most pure, the most noble deed that a man can do with his life. Being a doctor, saving people, giving them the joy of life is the most dignified task one can do. A doctor is said to have hands of God. When other hopes let you down, a doctor gives a new rising hope, a different sense of security. It is like performing social work in the purest form.
For me, a doctor's respect is more important than the money he earns. I had this goal in mind..to work in a village hospital without wages, devoting my life for the welfare of those in distress.That is because I care for the world around me, about the people around me.
For me that was my ultimate future in my eyes.But hopes crash..... and as my world came crashing down, I felt nothing could ever make my life worthwhile again. I did not wish to work, study or even live.. I had set some standards for myself, and i failed myself..
I had everything that was required. But destiny had something else in mind. In my final important years, I got badly distracted by factors ; the craving to enjoy, and waste my time in stupid things..... I'm even ashamed to mention them now. I feel that I'm such a loser who couldn't focus on one thing I actually craved for my entire life. Others will never understand what I've lost. Its not only my dream, it was my soul that I lost it out there when I failed in that last test.
I cannot repent or regret anything, because it has already happened. I acted foolishly and it cost my soul,
I've been taught to be content with whatever I get. My self confidence has staggered a little, and I doubt the faith in me. All these thoughts aren't worth sharing for one reason- Nobody will completely understand what I mean to say.
I have to move on, but the scar of my failure will stay behind in my life. The boiling depression in me will stay hidden inside. I won't be given a chance to cry out loud till my voice goes sore or to mention my failure to others.
Yet I stand up again, this time to fulfill the hopes of other people, the faith they have in me, And now I won't face failure again as I have left it behind. I will make it worthwhile, I promise to make everyone proud of me, and hold up to their conviction.
My heart skipped a beat when the world gave me a second chance. I will make the most of it now. I get a chance to be a Physiotherapist in my future, which is not quite as bad. I am still struggling with the inner 'ME' to regain the confidence when my mind says -
" You've nothing left to lose now. So go, face the world as there is nothing that can go wrong."
I just hope I get what I deserve, I will certainly strive hard to achieve success... As there is a new hope rising inside me.. I hope I won't fail me, the second time.. So here I go anticipating what the world has in store for me- Certainly not any more crashing hopes... I guess!!!
23 June '12
